Mostly it’s because crazycoley.net is going strong and blogger is a bit more user friendly.

I didn’t even think I could conjure up my password for this site

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

I just want to let you all know that one of the highlights of my day/week/month, is when I DO get to log in, and I see what you all are doing with my designs. I love watching people take what I put out there and make it their own. I’m glad that you guys prefer guidelines to being barked at, because I have tried to make those sorts of patterns, but it just never seems to work.

I got a tweet in my blackberry today advising me to vote for someone in some facebook challenge. The tweeter in question ended the request with “….end slavery and human trafficking. Vote!!” It just so happens that I live in a Canadian city that has one of the worst track records for slavery, human trafficking, child prostitution, and child pornography. All of these disgusting things are interlocking pieces of one huge ugly maze of human abuses against each other.

Since moving to Winnipeg, I have gotten to witness people’s extreme apathy toward little 9 year old girls forced into charging money for blow jobs here in Friendly Manitoba. It would interest me to find out exactly what it is that anyone figures they will accomplish by clicking on something at facebook. You can point and click all you want people, if it makes you feel good, but it won’t change the fact that tonight on Sargent or Higgins in frigid fucking Winterpeg some little child is being raped for money by some piece of shit suburbanite slob that everyone thinks is the best pillar of the community that you ever did see.

It also won’t change the fact that droves of women, desperate to get out of their miserable situations in their home countries, and desperate to provide for their families will answer ads promising them domestic work in this country. Some of them will actually work legitimately as nannies or maids but many will be picked up at the airport, taken to a hotel room, and be gang-raped as part of their brainwashing. They’ll disappear off the face of the earth as they are shunted through strip clubs and massage parlours where they’ll be tortured, beaten, and raped. When they die on the streets they’ll be just another drug addict that no one cared about anyway and eveyone will make jokes about how there’s one less criminal to worry about.

I don’t actually care if anyone does anything about it because really, if someone wants to they will. Like I said a moment ago, I’m just wondering to myself exactly what folks believe they are going to accomplish by voting for someone in some silly internet challenge or by joining some group. Do people really think that illegal immigration or paedophilia or [insert cause here] will actually end if a million people join some web page?!?! Are we that so far removed from the real world? Did IQs drop that sharply when I wasn’t looking? Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

1. You need a sense of humour.

2. I poke fun at the signs.

3. I make no pretense whatsoever that any of this could possibly be accurate. I can’t speak for every person on the planet, I can only have fun with my predictions of how the Sun Signs might behave given certain conditions.

4. If it offends your sensibilities then you should probably point and click elsewhere. Well thought-out letters (and even poorly thought-out ones) telling me that I am wrong/going to hell/insert negativity here won’t get posted or acknowledged. So, blah!!!

Aries: Some relief is on the way this week and it appears that you’re ready to pull your proud head out of your arse to accept it. Just don’t mess things up with your Queen Bee nature. Take the sandwich when you’ve forgotten your lunch, the loan when you’re down and out, the second-hand mittens when your hands are freezing – whatever it happens to be – smile sweetly and go make all your smart remarks to the bathroom mirror until it’s out of your system. The Universe may be infinite but its patience is not.

Taurus: After much frustration and worry, things go your way this week. The lights are all green, the lines are short, and when you call customer service, an English speaking voice at the other end is happy to help solve your problem. Don’t settle down on your fat arse to eat club sandwiches and pat yourself on the back just yet, though. Set aside some money and do a little advance shopping in preparation for a small celebration – there might be good news concerning either your children or ones close to you. There are other things I could tell you Taurus, but I think I’ll save them for another day. After all, if I give more attention to you over the other signs, you’ll start thinking that’s how the Universe meant it to be. Besides, I enjoy watching you come back for more and pretending that that’s not the case.

Gemini: Tastes great/less filling, low fat vs low carb, do I wear the pink shoes because they go with the purse I just picked or do I change to this other purse over here because it goes with my hair…..Yeah. The other signs are already at the restaurant and if you’re very, very lucky, they’ve saved you a piece of the Onion Sombrero. This isn’t the week to dick around and indulge in distraction Gemini, or you’ll miss out on tying up some important loose ends (more important than the right pair of shoes? Gah!!!) that will help propel you forward in life. Hurry, because Taurus is eyeing up your fried mozzarella sticks and we’re afraid to get in his way.

Cancer: A powerful female presence threatens to drown you out if you don’t grab a backbone and stand up. Put down that serving platter and talk back. Make your presence known. It most likely concerns community or spiritual matters – things you’ve been thinking about already. You have opinions, share them, don’t be wishy-washy and be prepared to stand behind them. Your mother isn’t coming to this party, you’re on your own.

Leo: Your great push forward down the Yellow Brick Road is temporarily diverted this week. Before your mane gets too ruffled and you find yourself morphing from mighty lion to whiny domesticated shorthair, bear in mind that even the wonderful Leo has to hurry up and wait sometimes.

Virgo: Discussions about things like money, the future, and security can turn ugly is you aren’t careful. Keep your lists to yourself this week because believe me Virgo, we know in alphabetical order what your major malfunctions are. Stop obsessing about them for one week because you know, you look a little pale Virgo….that’s right, check your pulse and get out some vitamins. Let someone else do the worrying this week because in your weakened state you’re bound to miss something important.

Libra: Your Quilters For Haiti Quilting Bee was a flop. No one came to your Save The Mongolian Chipmunk Tea & Sale because it was too bloody cold to leave the house. Your bank card was accidentally demagnetized at Bath & Body Works by that new bitch behind the counter. You’ve coped with the situation by creating two blogs, a facebook group, and a podcast. Spare us, please, and just go to bed. Next Sunday begins a whole new week.

Scorpio: Get out your tin foil hat, Scorpio, and power up the control centre. There’s a new twist this week in the never-ending struggle between You and Evil. If you read between the lines, you’ll see it coming and nip it quickly. Then you can return to the laborious task of spot-checking all your sex toys and cataloging the bondage gear.

Sagittarius: You pwn them all this week Sagittarius, and we’re all very happy for you. However, a third rendition of the moments leading up to your Hat trick/promotion/midget threesome/orphanage-raising in Laos is quite unnecessary. We’re bleeding out of our ears here and want to be put out of our misery. Don’t make me pinch Taurus and tell him that you did it.

Capricorn: Straighten up that tie and fix your sweater before heading into the office, Capricorn. You’re about to hear some good news regarding an issue that you’ve been plodding through. Nobody does minutae like you, Big Daddy, so take this special time to party like a rock star and resist the urge to order from the budget menu at Wendy’s tonight.

Aquarius: There IS light at the end of the tunnel!!! It won’t come quickly enough for you, but most things don’t. The seeds you planted are still germinating but look for promising little shoots to show their delicate little heads this week. Just don’t get excited and accidentally stomp all over them while you do your happy dance. In fact, you need a distraction…..isn’t that a homeless person? With a baby seal? You better get right on that.

Pisces: The Web of Wyrd twists and turns as it is spun and woven, my little fishcake, and then….over here Pisces, yes NOW….eyes front…..stop playing with the butterflies……..As I was saying…..oh who am I kidding. Virgo, Taurus, would you kindly pass on to Pisces the following message: DUCK. NOW. Thank you.

One large coffee mug
4 tbsp flour
4 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp cocoa
1 egg
3 tbsp milk
3 tbsp oil

Mix the dry ingredients together in a coffee mug. Add the wet ingredients, stirring carefully until somewhat smooth (it’s difficult to do this in a mug so don’t strive for perfection!!). Microwave on high for three minutes. The cake will rise up out of the mug like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Don’t panic, this is normal.

When done, sprinkle chocolate chips over the top and leave on the counter for 60 seconds so the chips melt.

Enjoy!!!

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1-2 lbs of stewing beef. Get a pack that doesn’t look like it’s all fat….but you fat-o-phobes beware, if you carve it all off, your stew will be pretty bland and your meat will dry up during browning.

Vegetables to your taste. This is a good chance to get rid of veggies that aren’t pretty enough for salads or stir fry, but still worth using. I chopped up three big carrots, threw in a few handfuls of yellow beans, lots of corn, and cubed three potatoes.

Herbs, salt, and pepper to your taste.

Flour

Olive oil and Butter

1.5 cups of hot water and one bottle of beer. I prefer Guinness but I’ve also used Keith’s, Oland’s, and Stiegl with good results. Today I’m using a homebrewed pilsner. Mmmm…..beer.

1. Mix a few handfuls of flour with the herbs and seasonings of your choice. I threw in a generous amount of last summer’s sage, as well as my dried thyme, and garlic salt.

Coat the meat chunks in the flour while a nice oiled cast iron frying pan is heating up on medium. Do not throw out the flour when you are done.

Throw a few chunks of meat in the pan and leave them to brown on one side for 2 minutes before flipping them. They will be very brown and crispy in spots. This is good, for those of you that don’t actually darken the front of your stove very often. Repeat with the rest of the meat, put it all in the crockpot with the vegetables.

Do not clean out the frying pan because you need those dark bits and fat to make gravy. Good gravy does not come out of a can, it does not start out as powder, and it has no dyes, MSG, or sugar. That add water and stir crap is full of extras that don’t need to be in you.

Scrape up the pan and add a blob of butter, about a tablespoon. Fat-counters don’t break out in hives. Between the olive oil for frying and the butter, maybe three or four tablespoons of fat have been added to something that will serve several people. Honestly, you’re better off limiting the amount of potatoes and flour.

But anyway……

Let the butter melt with the scrapings and whatever oil is left in the pan. Add small handfuls of flour, whisking smooth before adding more. When its thick and still creamy but almost stiff, start adding water, a few ounces at a time, whisking well in between. Looks pretty good, doesn’t it? Have a taste. Mmmm…… Now stop picking while you cook. Didn’t your mother tell you about worms?

Pour over the meat and veg in the crockpot. Top with beer. Stir it all up and add more water or beer to barely cover, if required. Turn up the crockpot to high and forget about it until everything is cooked through, which will be at suppertime if you start this after lunchtime.

Serve with Beer Bread:)
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1-2 lbs of stewing beef. Get a pack that doesn’t look like it’s all fat….but you fat-o-phobes beware, if you carve it all off, your stew will be pretty bland and your meat will dry up during browning.

Vegetables to your taste. This is a good chance to get rid of veggies that aren’t pretty enough for salads or stir fry, but still worth using. I chopped up three big carrots, threw in a few handfuls of yellow beans, lots of corn, and cubed three potatoes.

Herbs, salt, and pepper to your taste.

Flour

Olive oil and Butter

1.5 cups of hot water and one bottle of beer. I prefer Guinness but I’ve also used Keith’s, Oland’s, and Stiegl with good results. Today I’m using a homebrewed pilsner. Mmmm…..beer.

1. Mix a few handfuls of flour with the herbs and seasonings of your choice. I threw in a generous amount of last summer’s sage, as well as my dried thyme, and garlic salt.

Coat the meat chunks in the flour while a nice oiled cast iron frying pan is heating up on medium. Do not throw out the flour when you are done.

Throw a few chunks of meat in the pan and leave them to brown on one side for 2 minutes before flipping them. They will be very brown and crispy in spots. This is good, for those of you that don’t actually darken the front of your stove very often. Repeat with the rest of the meat, put it all in the crockpot with the vegetables.

Do not clean out the frying pan because you need those dark bits and fat to make gravy. Good gravy does not come out of a can, it does not start out as powder, and it has no dyes, MSG, or sugar. That add water and stir crap is full of extras that don’t need to be in you.

Scrape up the pan and add a blob of butter, about a tablespoon. Fat-counters don’t break out in hives. Between the olive oil for frying and the butter, maybe three or four tablespoons of fat have been added to something that will serve several people. Honestly, you’re better off limiting the amount of potatoes and flour.

But anyway……

Let the butter melt with the scrapings and whatever oil is left in the pan. Add small handfuls of flour, whisking smooth before adding more. When its thick and still creamy but almost stiff, start adding water, a few ounces at a time, whisking well in between. Looks pretty good, doesn’t it? Have a taste. Mmmm…… Now stop picking while you cook. Didn’t your mother tell you about worms?

Pour over the meat and veg in the crockpot. Top with beer. Stir it all up and add more water or beer to barely cover, if required. Turn up the crockpot to high and forget about it until everything is cooked through, which will be at suppertime if you start this after lunchtime.

Serve with Beer Bread:)
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Today I showed him the marks from where his foot was stuck for the last three weeks of my pregnancy. 15 years later they are still there, plain as day.

He is in his room recovering.

Assuming my butt doesn’t hurt too much after the nice people at Staples are done fixing my laptop and staring at my midget-pony fetish porn, then I will try to put aside the funds for a newer, smaller laptop and then HE can have this one and if he wrecks it, he can live with it. I can’t believe how much they’ve come down in price and I’m betting that when we indulge in some holiday cross border shopping, I can probably get one at a better price.

No computer until at least Monday. Its funny, because I never get to use it anyway. I’m either working or when I finally roll into the house at night, I am too tired to do anything.

Of course when I do try to sit down and surf I get accused of ignoring my family. This is even funnier that the concept of my laptop as a security blanket because *I* am never on my own bloody computer. I have noticed, though, that it is perfectly OK for them to spend hours online, eyes glazed over like the walking dead, playing stupid war games, and grunting out of the backs of their lovely fucking heads at me when I speak. But yeah, if I try to sit down and surf its a bad thing, because you know, all that professional networking in my trade and trying to develop patterns is just not productive and fully indicative of some secret alterna-life.

Let the DTs begin:)
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Just so you know, this is NOT a heart-friendly recipe. If you are the least bit concerned about salt and fat, back away now. Eat in my house and you will be well-fed and happy, but there is the possibility that you will die at the age of 50 if you aren’t careful at breakfast and lunch, because I love going all out at supper:)

FYI, it doesn’t actually taste 100% like the Colonel’s recipe, but it is damned good so I enjoy making it once in a while.

In a bowl mix the following:

1tbsp each of powdered sage, dry ginger, crushed rosemary, ground oregano, sweet marjoram, pepper, and crushed thyme.

2 tbsp each of garlic salt, onion salt, chicken soup base

3 tbsp each of chili powder and dried parsley

1 package of Knorr Red Soup with red bell pepper, tomato, and paprika

One handful of brown sugar

1 cup of flour

Get right in there with your hands and mix it all up. Resist the urge to lick your fingers because the amount of salt might cause you to shrivel up and die right there.

Take two eggs and some milk. Sorry, I just count to 3 while I pour. No measurement. Combine well with a fork and dip the chicken pieces in this. Dredge them in the spice/flour mix and fry at 365F in hot oil for 20 to 30 minutes turning from time to time so that they fry evenly.

Drain on newspaper. Serve with beer and homemade chips, and keep 911 on speed dial.

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